I know a lot of people. At times it surprises me what I’m learning from who I see on a daily basis. I’ve been in a retrospective state a lot lately, which magnifies what these people show me even more. We all tend to get a bit self-centered thinking of what we’re going through. The constant restriction I put on my potential can at times be hard for myself alone to think about.
Going to work everyday at a job that is not my calling by any means, is hard as well. This is when my mind comes to life! It spins and weaves, leaving me antsy with anticipation to write. I find bits of time to sneak an idea down. Some of my best poems have come from sitting at my desk, emotions high! Or walking home from my short train commute, inspiration comes from every where.
But I digress, these two thoughts are connected more than you think. As I go about my day, my mood fluctuates between frustration and contentment for what is now. I tend to struggle with being grateful to have a job at all verses living out my true purpose to be happy, where’s the balance? I find myself asking. This can be prompted by the moods around me of course. In that self-centered state, I have to remind myself that the ones around me sacrifice all day for what they do, whether they want to be here or not. Everyone dreams, it’s the brave that seek to fulfill them even in the slightest way, without fear of failure or the constant pull of something greater.
I’m uplifted by the few that bring their light with them everyday. Doused by the ones that choose not to do so. I do my best to hold positive light out and around me but I too am human and have to remind myself that I come to work for a reason. It’s not to “do” what I’m paid for necessarily, but to spread an idea. An idea that you can create and build your dream, brick by heavy ass brick. No matter how old you are or where you THINK you are in your life, that is light in itself. It takes time.
They’ve taught me patience. They’ve taught me to keep living my purpose and that it’s not as clear as I may think it is. Hmmmm, patience.