Tag Archives: growth

MAVENS

Raven Mavens perched atop lights
give luminous gems of wisdom and truth
They look down
not down to us
as we are up
down to see potential
We become those Mavens
whom no one knocks to ground
We stay firm in growth
moving to the highest crowned thrown
and rule what is ours
Raven Mavens
cobblestone will not crack under pressure
of those who walk righteous paths
lasting stone to hold under feet
mighty walks on fire and ice
Pick gems from your crown to place in hand of ones who tread behind
We rule this kingdom high atop ruins that may crumble beneath our feet.
Raven Mavens perched atop lights

Advertisements

CONVERSATIONS

She has my face; I grab her hands, sweaty and small. I looked to her for so long to be my guide, leading me blind to a place of her choosing. She got lost a long way back and she’s been winging it. As I look into those eyes, I see…I see she’s still trying to be assured, resilient, as confident as a young girl of her age can attempt to be. I was never really sure myself, which brought me to this point of reliance.  I looked to her for all things, no matter her lack of experience. Heavy things I let fall on her shoulders, she convinced me she was strong to hold. It’s the eyes, the eyes have it.

I take her hand, sweaty and small and lead her to sit with me. As we look upon a dark nothing that is our journey, I squint to see further out.

“What can you see?,” she asks.

“I see light, but the darkness consumes it so, I can’t tell how close it is,” I say.

“You can’t leave me here alone,” she says.

That was never the plan..to leave her here. At least not forever. But what I’ve grown to depend on was her, her youthful ignorance, growing curiosity..or was it that she was too young to grab hold of life’s seriousness? A certain ignorant bliss that clouds the mind of clear judgment to make the challenge palpable, easier to manipulate to our liking.  Her great fervor was present always, I craved to be that. Holding on to her gave me a sense of confidence, not needing to share my truth…but hers. I realize she is too young to know, really. Too young to let make these significant choices in our lives.

“I won’t leave you here. You can come with me,” I say

“As we make our way, I must request your silence. I request your trust to let me lead the way from this first step we take together.”

“I can’t promise I will not ask for your strength or love when I need it, when I do, please place your hands in mine and let me continue to lead our way.”

“You are after all, me. I cannot find anyone better to give me the unconditional love I crave. I cannot find anyone better to let me be, than myself. We will finish this journey as one.”

She grabs my hands, sweaty and small. As we stand to progress, I smile. I can’t tell how close we are but we go. I go.

IMG_5716

First trip

First trip to real

to realize there’s no end to this life of reason

First trip to a space

a place of unordinary.

Displacement

Noise

Push to new future.

Focussssss…mind creeping to

Dont’ let it in.

She’s not there

She’s not coming back

Waiting

Waiting for her

as she waited for you.

Missed chances

Slow advances

Too slow to catch before the break in fall

“I’m not coming back.

I must find me.

I find me and find

I find the love I need to be

the you

the you I never knew.

I never knew

I never knew the you needed for growth of us.

What you choose to lose

is the me you thought you knew.

This pain comes from emotion.

It’s emotion

guiding choice to loss

I choose to lose

the place I know

I knew the you with me

I can’t see

I must find me

I find me and find

I find the love I need to be

the you

the you I never knew.

Selfish Aritistry

“It’s the twisting of the knife that matters most, that’s what gets them…the twist of the knife.
But please, please fill your desperate thirst for the dream with no consideration of ones around you. It is, in all, about you and nothing else.
Oh! To be a true artist; opportune blessings indeed!
To lose mind and self for artistry is a true gift of human genius and indulgence. Continue on this path of discovery and see where the light takes you.
The cold of an impenetrable wall or vast sky of creativity? We shall not know until we try.”

Constructive Turns

photo (3)

It’s rare that I post something when it’s not fun or a good experience. I’m not having a good day. I’m going to sit in this feeling for a while until it passes. That’s where growth happens, right? Or maybe inspiration for another blog post. Moments of clarity sometimes come from a place of uncertainty. Things happen in our lives that expose what we choose to ignore. I’ve made a habit of turning the other cheek for a more pleasant change of scenery. Growth happens here. As much as I try to let things pass, the more I realize that it will not go away until it is addressed. This is in all aspects of life: Love, family, work, passion, career, responsibility, etc..

I can’t control everything, this I know. So in knowing this, I’m going to sit in this feeling. Drink my green juice and read some. I’m going to take a minute to close my eyes and meditate on what I can control, which is how I feel. I’m grateful for this day. I’m grateful for family and friends, whatever happens after that will come regardless of how I feel. So cheers guys! Cheers to life, blogging and getting your mind right when it’s dark in your world, and finding inspiration when you feel it’s lost. I feel better already.

She was wondering when he’d call. After weeks of slow build conversation, she couldn’t figure out how she felt about their growing story. She starts to recall how nervous she was at first meeting, knowing she shouldn’t meet at a stranger’s house the first time, the curiosity outweighed her rational mind. The calm walking in his door never went away as they spent that night talking. To her delight, he didn’t mind sitting and letting the moment spin itself silent in between sips of wine.

After that night, the story grew rapidly but in a way that didn’t feel pressed. She became grateful to him, for giving her patience in the unknown and taking away the heavy of new. He worked his way into her routine, slowly becoming a regular face she looked forward to seeing. She wasn’t sure how or where this story was leading but her ever evolving awareness made it easy to go with the currents. He challenged her with questions, made her think more deeply in a way she hadn’t in a while. Thoughts of others trailed in and out of mind, not sticking long enough to make an impact on the friendship created with him. She let them; let those thoughts take over until they disappeared.

Then he called.