35

Nobody tells you. Nobody tells you that you’ll feel out of touch yet so close to the young woman you thought you were yesterday. Nobody tells you how fast your growth can be and how many missteps you’d take to get where you never thought you would. I feel so young and inexperienced that it feels like a joke to be turning 35 in less than a week. My body feels it, but why do I feel so immature? I look in the mirror and can appreciate the blessing of still looking young but carry the weight of the years my life has lived so far. Nobody tells you. Nobody tells you that you’re going to be afraid and look back on what you haven’t done versus what you have. I’m grateful for another year of fixing my mistakes and earning new ones. I haven’t embraced that fearless, self loving woman that they say comes in your 30s…or is it your 40s? ..I’m not there yet. But I will tell you. I will tell you that I’m in real love for the first time ever in my life. I can talk to my son as a young man and we can make mistakes together and move on and keep loving each other. I’ll tell you I’m not living my dreams but continue to make a step a little closer to them. Today is a beautiful day, it’s beautiful because I choose it to be. And that comes with my 35 years of living and knowing I have a long journey with more days like this. Happy birthday to me:)

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